Here we go again

Once again I apologize for not writing in forever.  I am going to try and get into the groove of things, for real.  We shall see how that works. 

Benjamin got his first birthday shots on Saturday, and he sure  didn't like it.  The doctor also said he wasn't growing well enough and we need to work on making sure he actually sleeps through the night.  I have no idea how we will do this.  I have been trying to give him a routine but it doesn't work.  He does not know how to fall asleep on his own, and if he wakes up then he cries for me, plus he wants to eat.  The doctor said this is a no no. 

Since Oscar is home, we are going to try the cry it out method.  We shall see how long I last.  Wish me luck. 

To Cry or Not to Cry

So Benjamin at around 4 months was sleeping at least five hours and then would go shorter periods of time.  But now he gets up almost every 2 hours actually a little less. 
My doctor said I need to sleep train him, by letting him cry it out.  I cannot do this.  There are times I want to because I'm so tired and I just want to sleep and to not have a baby in my arms, but there is no way I can last past 20 seconds.  And wow was that a run on sentence or what?
So any ideas or suggestions would be welcome.  So far I'm just making sure his needs are met and getting as much sleep as I can get.  Well mostly I should be sleeping now

Busy Busy

So of course I always have periods where I am not writing, because life gets in the way.  I am going to try and be better at updating.  So much has happened since I last wrote.

• Benjamin went on his first plane ride
• Benjamin visited California for the first time
• Benjamin met Uncle Joe and Uncle Craig for the first time
• Benjamin walked with assistance for the first time
• Benjamin started rice cereal
• Benjamin rolled over from front to back.  He doesn't do it consistantly though.
• I finished my last paper for my Masters Degree, and am done!!

So as you can see we have been busy busy. 

First Plane Trip and more!

Tomorrow we leave to go to California to see my brother.  Benjamin and him have never met!  I'm super excited.
I am not excited about lugging all the stuff by myself, but such is life.  Too bad the man couldn't get time off with me :(
I'll get over it though.  I can't wait to show Benjamin so many new things.  I know he won't remember, but he will always have pictures!
He will do so many firsts: First time meeting his Uncles.  First time on a Plane, First time leaving the state. First time in California.  First time seeing the Ocean.  phew... and probably many many  more!  Can't wait!

Milk Production

So I've been pumping during working hours, since I started back.  At first I was getting at least 11 ounces each time I pumped.  My output went down a little bit,  So I started pumping in the morning before I went to work as well.  This made it go back up.  However, now I'm making about half of what I was making so 5-6 ounces when I pump. 
This means I am going through my reserves and not getting enough out for my son to eat everyday.

I am also feeling very anxious and upset about this.  LIke I"m not a good enough  mother.  That I am a failure because I'm not producing enough.  I'm going to try to make my supply increase again, and see if there is anything I can do.  Dr. Google said to drink water and get lots of rest.  Which hello, little baby, full time job and school.  Not going to happen.  Wish me luck. 

7 weeks. So big

So Benjamin was actually 6 weeks in this picture.  But it is too cute for words!

He is 7 weeks old today.  I can't believe it.  It has gone by so gast.  I go back to work next week.  Which is exciting and sad all at the same time.  I'm really happy to go back and ssee my other kids.  But I am going to miss seeing everything my son does when he first does it :( 

First Outing with Just Mommy and Me

So today, I decided if Benjamin would sleep alone, I would take a shower and we would venture out to Target.  He did!  So away we went.

This is the first time we have gone anywhere just the two of us.  And it was nice, but different, and a little difficult.  First off, I really really need to work out or something.  I have no upper arm strength.  It was hard to lift the baby and the car seat all at once.  But I did it.  We walked around target and he fell asleep, so it was pretty easy going.  The only thing that had me worried, is we haven't installed the mirror that hangs on the back of the seat, so that you can see the baby while driving. 
I'm still new, so I freak out a lot, and would have liked the reassurance of seeing for myself the baby was okay, instead of relying on sound only.  So I definately am going to have to make sure the mirror is in for our next car trip.

I am hoping that daddy will put together the stroller tonight, and if it is warm tomorrow then I will attempt a walk with baby and doggy!

20 Weeks. Halfway there

So I'm halfway there.  And it is really exciting.  Except for I'm so hungry all the time now.  Which I guess is a good change since, I didn't want to eat at all before.  In three days I get to have my ultrasound and find out the sex of the baby.  I can't wait!  I'm a little nervous that I'm going to pee myself because of the excitement though.  I cannot pee starting an hour before the ultrasound and I must drink 24 ounces of fluid before I go in.  It is going to be so hard.  Oh well.  Let's hope I make it!

HeartBeat

In case you don't know.  I read.  A lot.  Sometimes it is not a good thing.  I had been reading about blighted ovums.  So if you can imagine I was pretty freaked out that I was growing one of those and not a healthy baby. 
All my fears were laid to rest when the doctor let me hear the baby's heartbeat!  It was so exciting.  I can't wait for January. 

Positive

POSITIVE. Positive.  I am having a baby.  Does it get any more exciting?  I don't think so. 

I feel as if I can actually feel things happening already.  Very strange. It is like a pulling on my right side.  I am peeing more than ever, and if you know me, you are probably thinking I'm permentally on the toilet.  Not true.  But close.  I'm very uncomfortable when sitting for long periods of time.  I also have tender breasts.  So what do you think?  Positive????

I go for my first doctors visit on May 24th.  I'm super excited.  But I wish that I could know for sure, right now. 

Here is to a healthy baby.

Any ideas for what I should call the little one, while its incubating???